Ness and Em!
by Gina Christine
Summary: This is a whole story dedicated to Emmett and Renesmee and all the fun and crazy times they have together! T just in case. Don't want to get in trouble!
1. Like? Dislike? Middle Like?

No. I do not own Twilight. At all.

Emmett-Hi I'm Emmett.

Nessie- Hi I'm Nessie.

Emmett- And this is going to be a bunch of random stories that Jaspersx3mine. Writes about us!

Nessie- Isn't it awesome?

Emmett- Why yes. Yes it is.

Nessie- Nobody says stuff like that Em.

Emmett-Okay. Well review to tell Jaspersx3mine if this is a good idea or not!

Nessie- Oh yea… I'm like 13 now. So… ya.

Emmett- *in the same tone ness used* And I'm like… 100. So… psht ya.

Nessie-Bub-bye now.


	2. Nessie's Phases

No… I don't own Twilight.

**Nessie's Phases. **

**Year One- Emmett's Always Right!**

**Age- 2**

"Hey Nessie! Can you come in here for a second?" Edward called from the kitchen.

"No! Emmett said that you're gross and I should avoid you as much a possible, or I'll get sent to Torrance!" Nessie replied.

"Emmett's dead"

**Year Two- Goth Kids are Cool!**

**Age- 5**

"Renesmee! Can you get down here and do your chores?" Bella called from the living room.

"No! I'm busy wallowing in my sorrows!" Nessie called from her room

"What? Why would you do that?" Bella screamed!

"Emmett said that if I didn't go threw a Goth phase that I'll get sent to Torrance!" Nessie replied.

"Emmett's dead"

**Year Three- But I Want It!**

**Age- 8**

"Ali? Can you make me some muffins?" Nessie asked her Aunt Alice.

"I'm sorry, hon. I don't know how to make muffins!" said Alice.

"BUT I WANT IT!" Renesmee shrieked.

"Nessie! Why are you acting like this?"

"Emmett told me to," Nessie mumbled.

"Emmett's dead."

**Year Four- Amish People are Awesome!**

**Age- 11**

"Nessie, darling, why won't you come out of the tent?" Rosalie asked kindly.

"Because I don't believe in electricity!" Nessie explained.

"Why is that, honey?"

"Because Emmett said that electricity was fail!" Nessie yelled.

"Emmett's dead."

**Year Five- Blondes Have More Fun!**

**Age- 14**

"RENESMEE! What the Hale did you do to your hair?" Jasper yelled in a heavy southern accent.

"I dyed it blonde! Do you like it?" Nessie giggled.

"No! Your hair was so beautiful! Why'd you change it?"

"Because Emmett said that blondes have more fun!" Nessie whispered.

"Emmett's dead."

**Year Six- I Enjoy People's Pain!**

**Age- 17**

"**Ow! Nessie! Why did you punch me?" Jake squealed. **

"**Because it was funny!" Nessie laughed.**

"**No it wasn't! Why would you do that?" Jake asked quizzically. **

"**Emmett said that you should enjoy people's pain," Nessie said, still laughing.**

"**Emmett's dead."**

**Nessie- So Emmett… You really made me go through all of that?**

**Emmett- You bet I did!**

**Nessie -punchpunchpunch-**

**Emmett- You're still in your 'I Enjoy People's Pain!' Phase, Aren't you?**

**Nessie- You freaking bet!**

**Emmett- Well that's just fan-freaking-tastic!**


	3. Nessie's First Day

**Disclaimer- **

me- I owns nothin.

Jasper- Use proper grammar.

me- Nevvvaaa!

Jasper- Ju know whuuuht?

me- whuuuuuht?!?!?

Jasper- You don't own Twilight!

me- Agreed.

**Auburnblackblueauburnblackblueauburnblackblueauburnblackblueauburnblackblue3love**

**Author's note!**

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I haven't been on the computer a lot. It's nice out! 'Cept when it's raining. It rains a lot here. Okay... Here are a few things you should know about this chapter. It takes place in Blairsville, PA. The Cullen's moved. They can't stay in Forks forever! So some of my friends are in this story. FYI- We get a little crazzzy sometimes! So you have been warned!

**Auburnblackblueauburnblackblueauburnblackblueauburnblackblueauburnblackblue3love**

**EmPOV!**

"Nessie! You have to get up!" I screamed from downstairs. The rest of the family was hunting and they put me in charge of getting Nessie ready for her first day of school. She look about thirteen. She would be going into seventh grade.

"No! You can't freaking make me!" Nessie half yelled, half yawned. She was so stubborn! Just like her mother.

"You wanna bet?" I asked, "If you don't get up I'll tell Edward what you and Jake were REALLY doing yesterday!" Yay for threats!

"We didn't do anything dip-wad," She rolled her eyes.

"Your parents don't know that!" Muahaha! She has no choice but to get up now!

"Dad will read your mind. He'll know you're lying," She yet again, rolled her eyes. I knew just what to do now. I ran into the kitchen, filled up a bucket of ice water, and ran back upstairs.

"Oh, Nessie!" I sang just before I dumped the water on her. She looked mad. Really mad.

"Fine! I'll get ready, you big baby," she mumbled under her breath. With that, I walked out of her room.

About thirty minutes later she came down in the really cute outfit! I'm starting to sound too much like Alice! She had on a plaid shirt and light jeans.

"Time to get to the bus," I sighed. She was growing up so fast!

"See ya Emmett!" She yelled as the bus pulled up. And with that, I cried a singled tear. That turned into a jellybean, all colours of the rainbow! And suddenly Emmett wasn't racist, anymore. I love youtube!

**NPOV!**

I walked onto the bus. There weren't many kids my age on the bus. I saw a girl with red hair sitting in a seat staring out the window. She looked about my age. I sat next to her. "Hey," The girl said "I'm Gina. You new here?" She asked. She sounded pretty nice. She had auburn hair with black highlights. Her eyes were a light blue that was almost gray. Her hair was curly and she seemed tall. Probably a basketball player.

"Ya. How'd you tell?" I tried to look like I've done this before. I really didn't want that much attention.

"Not many kids live in Berry. When someone new moves here, I notice," She explained.

"Berry?" I looked at her quizzically. I thought I was going to Derry. Not Berry.

"That's just what I call where we live. Not really in Blairsville, yet not really in Derry. It's a lot cooler," Gina let out a small laugh. I just realized that we were both wearing the same shirt. Except hers was gray.

"I like your shirt," I laughed. She was really nice. "I'm Renesmee, by the way. Just call me Ness though. It's a lot easier!" I felt really stupid for not telling her my name.

"That's a cool name. Not really like the small town names you find around here," Was my name going to attract attention? Oh jeez. I looked around the bus. There was probably one or two kids in our grade there. The bus stopped. We were already at the school. That forty minute bus ride went faster than I thought. After the bus let us out, Gina And I started towards our class. We were in the same class. I think. "CAROLINE!" Gina screamed. I jumped. She seemed so quiet before. I guess I has a lot to learn.

"GINA!" Caroline yelled back. "Who's the chick?" I gave a sheepish smile while she looked at me.

"This," Gina pointed to me, "Is Renesmee. Say the name with me Caroline, Ruh-nez-may," Gina and I laughed as Caroline kept trying to say it right. Caroline was about my height. She had straight blonde hair with dark brown roots. I think she would look prettier with her brown hair, but she was still really pretty.

"I'm just calling you Renee-smay," Caroline said. Gina rolled her eyes.

"How about you call me Ness?" I suggested.

"Fine. But Renee-smay sounds a lot cooler," Caroline sang. A girl a little bit shorter than Gina walked up behind her and poked her sides. Gina screamed.

"Hey Kiersten. Haven't seen you in forever!" Kiersten had light blond hair with even lighter blond highlights and blue/green eyes. It seemed like everybody here was pretty. It made me wonder... I shook off the thought. That's impossible. Unless... Nah. Impossible.

"I think we should get to class. It would suck if we were late on the first day," Kiersten said. So Kiersten wandered off to her class, while Caroline, Gina, and I went to ours. I was so lucky that I already had friends. I couldn't wait to tell Emmett and Alice.

"Okay class today we will blah blah blah blah blah," I really didn't pay that much attention . It didn't seem like anyone else was either. I felt something land on my arm. I was a note. It said-

Hey Ness :) How you liking Derry. You should sit and our lunch table. Meet me in the hallway after class. We need to compare schedules.

-Gina

I looked over at Gina. She was staring at the teacher pretending that she was so interested in whatever the teacher was saying.

I wrote back-

Sure :D Who all sits there? It's pretty small. Hey. What sports do you play? Just wondering. I have nothing to do. I think that I should join a sport.

I tossed the note onto her desk. She read it. Then she quickly responded in her sloppy handwriting.

Caroline, Lauren, Kiersten, Olivia, and me sit there. I'm in Basketball, cheerleading, track, volleyball, and gymnastics. They don't have gymnastics here though. Grr. You should join :D

I knew she was a basketball player! Right when I was about to write back the bell rang. I met Gina and Caroline outside of the class room. "Oh my muffin! Guess what?" Caroline screamed.

Me and Gina responded, "What!?" at the same time.

"My socks are purple!" Wow. Caroline was definatley the most hyper out of the three of us. I giggled at the thought.

"How much sugar have you had today, Caroline?" Gina asked.

"Nooooone," Caroline replied.

"Caroline Marie?" Gina glared at her.

"None! Can't you just realize that I'm naturally high?!" Caroline screamed. We started walking to lunch. I didn't know Lauren or Olivia yet. I looked at the white board that said the lunch for today. Dang. Blood wasn't one of them. Gina and Caroline looked disgusted, too. Doubt for the same reason though. They know what school food taste like. I don't. Tacos. How bad could it be. I went up to the lunch line. I was wrong. I wasn't even sure that the meat on there was real. I was definatley not eating this. Gina and Caroline didn't eat the tacos either. I didn't blame them. We walked over to a red circular lunch table. There were two people sitting there already. I figured that they were Olivia and Lauren.

"Ness, This is Lauren," She pointed to the tall, skinny girl with light brown hair, "And this is Olivia," She pointed to the short girl with shoulder length blond hair.

"Hey. How you likein-" She was cut off by a scream. A short blond boy stood up covered in cinnamon butter all over his pants. The boys at the table infront of us were laughing their butts off.

"Who are they?" I asked. They were most likely the trouble makers... Emmetts.

"The one that put the cinnamon butter under the kid's chair is Brody." Lauren pointed to the second shortest person. He had brown hair. "The really short one is Owen, the really tall one is Ross, the one that looks like a total a** is Nico, and the blonde on is Ian." I looked over at them. They looked like jocks. Most likely were.

"Hey, Girl!" Nico yelled. He pointed to Lauren.

"Ya?" She replied.

"Not you!" He screamed.

"Me?" I asked.

"Yes you!"

"What?" I was getting annoyed.

"Yes, Do you like tacos?" I rolled my eyes and turned back to my friends. He really was an a**.

After a moment of silence Gina spoke. "I'm a football player, but I'm afraid to get dirty! Who am I?" She said it in the girliest voice she could use.

"Either Nico or Ian!" Lauren laughed, "By the way, where's kiersten? I haven't seen her since this morning." Just then Kiersten sat down.

"You called, darling?" She laughed. "Guess what?!"

"MUFFINS! YES! THANK GOD!" Caroline screamed. The boys at the other table stared at her. She sunk into her chair.

"What's she smoking?" Kiersten asked, "Anyway... no. But the My Chemical Romance go on sale today! Yay!" What's My Chemical Romance? Uncle Emm has been forcing me to listen to Hannah Montana all my life... After we left lunch all the classes went by fine. No teacher made me introduce myself. So I was happy.

**EmPOV**

She asked me what My Chemical Romance was. I guess it was time for 'the talk' actually 'the My Chemical Romance talk' but that was too long. "Emm? What's My Chemical Romance?" She asked for the second was I supposed to tell her? I'd just tell her what I knew.

"Renesmee, My Chemical Romance is another way of having sex while on acid," I was pretty sure that that was right. She ran up to her room . Probably to Google it. She came down about five minutes later. "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me," She said simply. Then she walked back up to her room. Wait till her father hears about this!


	4. The Art of Prank Calling

**Disclaimer- **

**Emmett- Do you own anything?**

**Me- No.**

**Emmett- Good girl.**

**EmPOV**

"Okay! So what have you learned so far?" I asked Nessie. We were in her bedroom. I turned it into a class room like setting.

"Always block your number. Disguise your voice. And don't prank call you," Nessie repeated what I have been teaching her.

"And why don't you prank call me?" I asked.

"Because Emmett knows all," Nessie said rolling her eyes.

"Good! You just passed prank calling 101!" Finally! "Are you ready to start prank calling?"

"Sure!"

"Okay. Who should we prank call first?" I thought aloud.

"How about that Lauren kid that my mom's always complaining about?" Nessie suggested. My neice is a genius!

"Okay Ness. This is your one shot! Give it your best!" With that I handed Ness my phone. She was a pro at this!

**(**A/N Lauren is _Italics _Nessie and Emmett are** Bold)**

_Hello? _

**Yes. This is Fredrisha. From the National Mustard Association. **Nessie said in a southern accent. Similar to Jasper's.

_Ya? What do you want?_

**Yes. This call was just to confirm your order for seventy-five gallons of mustard. Do you really like mustard THAT much? Do you put it on hot dogs? You probably have hot dogs for breakfast, lunch and dinner! **

_Shut up, Jessica. I know it's you. _I took the phone from Nessie.

**This is not the Jessica you are looking for. **I said in my scariest voice.

_Who are you!_

**Beotch, you're whiter than sour cream. **I said in my best gay guy voice.

_Oh my God! Who are you! I'm too hot to die! Nooo! _

**Mkay, bye!** I shut my phone. That was hilarious! "Oh my Jesus! That was amazing!" I said to Nessie.

"I know! Lauren's a blond right?" Nessie asked,

"Ha. You bet!" I screamed. Then I heard police sirens. "RUN, BITCH, RUN!"


	5. Well this sucks

I don't own Twilight. Gr.

I woke up in the morning feeling like P-Diddy. Wow. I'm that lame. Anyhow... Emmett woke me up this morning and I was pissed. Its the freaking weekend. Well, we (as in the Cullen family and Jake) now live in Pennsylvania. It is very dull, and very boring here. The people here are hicks. They act live trailer trash. Well, enough with my hatred of this place. As I was saying, Emmett woke me up.

"Nessie! Nessie! Nessie!" He screamed. He seemed way to hyper. Even for him!

"What do you want? I'm tired," I scolded. Its the weekend. I may be half vampire, but I still get tired. Then I saw something bright white outside of my window. Then I realized it... SNOW! I've never seen snow before! It mostly just rains in Forks!

"There's snow! Its two feet deep!" Emmett screamed. I couldn't believe it! There wasn't any snow when I fell asleep! How could this happen? "Want to go play outside?" He asked.

"Can Jake come?" I don't think he saw snow before either. And if he had, it couldn't of been like this.

"But he smells!" Emmett explained.

"Please!" I pleaded.

"Fine," Emmett gave in, "Just let me get my nose plugs." Within seconds he was back and ready to go. I called Jake and he agreed to meet me right outside of the new Cullen house.

In about ten minutes Jake arrived and was ready to go play outside. My mother made me put on a huge coat and snowsuit. I was half vampire for Gods sake! I really doubt I could get sick. But Mother, being the worry wart that she is, didn't want to risk it.

We built the most beautiful snowman. Emmett named him Cake. Sometimes I worry about that boy. Jake decided to build a snow fort. It was pretty rad.

Once it got dark out, we all went inside. Jake and I had some hot chocolate.

** The end.**

**A/N: Okay. I realize that this was short, and it sucked. The fact is, I totally have a major case of writers block, and I'm snowed in. So I figured I'd try to write. I fail. Sorry. Bye.**


End file.
